My love story

 

What is DESTINY?

des·ti·ny (dst-n)

n. pl. des·ti·nies

1. The inevitable or necessary fate to which a particular person or thing is destined;

one's lot.

2. A predetermined course of events considered as something beyond human power or control

Rust of the wind I hear

It seems to say your near

but it seems that everyday 

your not noticing me in a way

that would help my heart light up

it seems that your saying shut up

it hurts deep inside 

but I have to subside

because I love you

Can you feel the same way too?

I'm so sorry to disturb you

but i just can stop loving you

i dont know why

i just give it a big sigh

every time you pass by.

ECB

I believe that God has already written a book for each one of us and destined to be with someone who will make us feel complete, we just have to wait and look for the signs if not we may have just broken our life story.

          I'm a very hopeless romantic person, you can even make me smile just saying hello and by giving me a sweet note. So how do I end up with a guy that is very shy and not a show off when it comes to being Romantic? ........he...he...he... who knows HE'S MY SOUL MATE, MY LIFE, MY LOVE. So why ask for more?

          I first saw him when I was just 13 years old, (yup he is also my puppy love) he was so handsome just sitting inside an owner type jeep. He was just there accompanying his mom and aunt in selling fresh beef from Tagaytay (Bakang Batangas). His Aunt joke to my mom that I am already a Lady (not to be obvious I said nope I'm a Man :P) but golly! I don't know what hit me ,.... booo Cupid why me? I don't even know him, that's what inside my mind at that time. I told my mom of course who is also my very best friend. So that's the first time I saw him and waited to see him from then on...... few years had past I thought I have forgotten my long time crush and Puppy love :) My mom went to my room and said maybe I am interested in what she will tell me about the new guy in our neighborhood, sigh! told him not interested (in my mind as if it will be as good looking as my first crush) then again............. I was just passing time in our old nipa hut "what the!" who is this I saw? so cute in his all white uniform, he looks like a Marine :P (thinking it's a different guy as he  looks so mature and have lots of pimples in his cheeks I thought to myself I have anew crush) being young and naive, just seeing him in the morning before going to school and waiting for him in the afternoon or night while doing homework that's how my life went on just seeing him is OK for me not even knowing his name or anything about him. I have learned to loved him in silence.

          I think I am not that pretty/beautiful but I dont know with guys many have tried courting me but as far as I'm concern nobody has captured my heart (not in my mind yet as I say to myself just enjoy the time of feeling loved and admired). I am always been invited to be a Queen in the parade or a muse in basketball games but I am not interested in showing off and participate in those kinds of events, but I said to myself hence if my crush will ask me to be their muse (basketball team) maybe I will say yes! (wink!) a big maybe.

          Alas! one day I was in my Aunt''s small sari-sari store O.M.G.! there he was.....about to buy something,..... (armed with his cuteness) I ask him what he wanted to buy but to my dismay instead of answering me he ignored me as if I was not there. Pissed and dismay I just called my aunt's help Yaya Dory and left the store annoyed and upset thinking he didn't even notice me. I said to myself maybe I was just not his type :(. Months have passed trying to forget that incident but still continue to admired him from a distance. One day our common friend asked if I will be interested with his friend if he will court me and that was my dream guy whom now I thought that time his name was ARCHIE!!!! I didn't answer him directly because I was shy and just said please don't ask me those kinds of question I'm not that type of girl and told him I don't like to be teased and talked about, but after a while it was him coming to me and having the guts to talk to me!!!! (I was so hyped and shocked but managed not to show any clues......imitating Maria Clara at that time) It was my most happiest day I thought to myself. He is now talking to me, making jokes, always making me smile, and as for me I just continue admiring him from a distant and hoping nobody will notice the special feeling I have for him for a very long time (who would imagine that his long time crush will give him that kind of attention it's only in fairy tales right?). I'm happy the way things are.

          One day a distant cousin of mine visited us with her mom, in my dismay he called me and ask if it's possible to get my cousin's number?..... WHAT! So pissed! (inside my mind I was devastated heartbroken!) I did not answer him and just ignored his question that it doesn't matter and didn't hear a thing and just went inside and sob my heart out. For a few days I did not went out wishing and hoping this sad memory will past and I will soon forget that it all happen. When I went out just my luck I said to myself, I saw him. he was happy to see me as if he longed to see me for a long time. I was so happy to see his reaction but still rememner and I can feel the heartache inside me of the incident before, I tried not showing it. He asked me how I was and he's been looking for me, I did not  answer him, he tried to make me laugh but the pain is too much that even if I tried to smile it hurts so bad (I think it is the same feeling if a person is having a heart attack. I think he already notice that there is something wrong he ask me why but I did not answer him, but I was happy  afterward knowing that he is affected after all if I'm happy or not he is concerned for me ( I said to myself why do you have to be so cute it only hurts me more, your attracted to my cousin not me, why not me? much more pain ...... much more Im so affected.....a drama queen was born). 

         Afterwards everything changes he constantly visits me, talk, makes me laugh, just being there always. I thought to myself maybe he is just doing this so that he can be close to my cousin (as if I was close to my distant relative?...... but if this the only way to be with him it's ok even if my heart is bleeding like hell after). More and more i come to know him better. He's so nice and a gentleman. Every single day I get to know him more and it only makes me drawn to him, makes me more in-love it only makes things worse I thought to myself is it really happening I'm falling fast and I can't help it. HELP I'm trap! I'm in love.

          So there I was thinking that I'm just being a good friend, (sigh! just a friend?) this is it........ the day I need some help, I was accepted to U.S.T .(University of Sto. Thomas, Espana Manila) my problem is that I have to go to the University to have the interview/ screening but unfortunately my dad is not available that time (maybe it is  fate) and I don't know how to commute (yes dear people I don't know how o ride jeepney's nor other public transportation and commute) I ask him and his friends for some directions and teach me how to reach my destination besides I am a brave girl, I think i can commute on my own.

Here's the best part so far hold on to your seats.........

         I told you all he is very nice and a real gentleman he said it is much better and for my safety if he will accompany me to the place, and if it is ok for me if he will be my chaperon. He said he will be happy to know I will reach my destination safe and sound if he comes  with me rather than telling me the way (as if I would mind :P) He said I look like I would not remember anything ( he doesn't know I can remember all the roads like photographs in my head, yes ladies and gentlemen I am one of the few people that remembers all roads even just describing it like a cat :), but of course I did not brag) I was so happy he said that but I was so shy and I don't want to have a bad impression he might get irritated waiting for me '(for sure it will be long as they say screening interview in UST takes a long time) and I said I don't want to be of trouble to him (in my head wow is this a dream??? I don't want to wake up please) after so many hours of trying to convince me shyly I said yes if he really insist I told him I will be delighted to have his company. All his friends tried to make fun of us, he doesn't mind at all even if we are are the topic of the day he just smiled simply and looked at me, I felt like melting but inside I was screaming and dancing the happy tune, and to make the story more interesting my dad didn't even reacted, nor said no. (knowing he's very strict and protective of me that's why people I don't know how to commute he drives me most of the time or I have my own service). He said yes my dream guy can accompany me! Praise God!

         This is it the day of my interview! I don't know what is more nerve racking my interview to my dream University or having him as my chaperon? I was so happy to see him waiting for me at our front gate, he didn't manged to get inside because we are in a hurry fearing I might get late (he said it is so traffic in Manila) funny thing is we even somehow got lost even if he knows the area very well, as if he was also nervous.  I don't know how but thankfully we managed to find our way to UST. Yes I said he's a gentleman but I think it is a little bit too much!!! I think he is taking care of me like a big brother!!!!! Argh!!! know why ???? when we are walking in the sidewalk or crossing the streets he holds the top of my head, my head!!! my head!!! double Argh!!! what's happening??? do I really look like a kid? is that what he really thinks of me a little sister? or is he that old? sight! all those things keeps popping in my head while we are walking towards the main door of the main building. (Oh well at least he is with me that's all that matters as I said to myself. he was left outside as no chaperon is allowed inside the building only inside school grounds. I had the interview and it was so long and nice one but I was also worried for him waiting outside I started thinking maybe he got mad and left me :( what if? what if? even if I am thinking of many  things the interview went very well they were very pleased with me and have been accepted!!!! I was so happy I was running my way out and looked for him hoping he didn't left me. I was so glad to see his face there and there where I last saw him when I enter the building smiling at me as if he is happy to see me after waiting for me for a very long time (would you believe he waited patiently for 6 hours straight) I was so happy to tell him the good news I was accepted, he was so glad it went well he said... I can see his happiness and joy in his eyes it make me more happy knowing I got accepted in college and see him be happy for me, for my future for me it is like having a double celebration. It makes me admire him more.

          We didn't went home instantly he  said we can grab something to eat first before heading home as the time is already after lunch and the travel time it will reach us early dinner already before we reach home. he took me to this mall he always goes to. He's really taking care of me every single bit and I was happy don't care if it means I am his little sister I said to myself. We went to Jollibee for a celebration he said, we ordered food but the funny thing was both of us didn't touch each others food :) we just gazed in each other eyes as if we are talking froze and just like that. I don't know what's gotten into me, when he looks at me I can't stand his gaze I just melt..........when I look at him same thing he just froze! (we wasted food that day! I thought :P) afterwards we went on our way and took the next jeepney towards our place. he took me home and I said thanks. he said it was nothing and just ask him anytime in the future. I was happy, really really happy I don't care even if he only looks at me as a sister or a friend. I am happy loving him secretly and my diary is always the witness of that every single night. I had dreams about him every single night and i find it quie disturbing.............

          That went on ......him being nice and always making me laugh and me just happy to talk to him and glancing at him from a distance. (I maybe too naive or clueless but I really am still wondering till now). I want to know him more and more. I want to know he's favorites etc., I ask him if he can write in my slum book (yeah...yeah... a slum book :P very childish but its worth it I can know what he likes and his real name and other stuff maybe I will know who is his first crush and envy the girl :)) he said yes and took my slum book.

When he's finished filling my slum book he returned it to me instantly but there is something different I said to myself he looks at me more different now. I felt just like melting. back to reality I said to myself I started reading the things he wrote one by one to my surprise his real name I thought for a very long time was wrong! its RICHIE and not ARCHIE funny knowing his last name BATO which I thought before was just a joke from his friends, I don't mind the last name actually I loved it because I also like the person. One by one I started to know his likes, dislikes etc. I flipped the page to the more personal stuff, I was shocked! the most unforgettable person he wrote was me! because I let him wait for me for 6 hours :) and he said he doesn't like to be kept waiting! well I thought it was just to make fun of me so I didn't mind it at all and consider it as a joke. 

I didn't know that it will be the start of him making my day happy and making me feel special. Day by day he always makes me feel I am different. now I feel there is something but I'm too shy to ask. I can feel there is a connection, a chemistry I hope that we are feeling the same way, I HOPE!!!!! more confusing honestly.

          One night he showed up in our place like he used too but this time he looks different and smelled different, he looked a little tipsy. I ask him if he's been drinking or he is drunk? I'm a little bit annoyed thinking that he will be visiting me and yet he drinks alcohol?? why he had to drink before coming to our house??? he said he just drank a little to have a little strength and courage (Pampalakas nang loob!) (strength for what? I ask myself ?) He said he really wanted to tell me something and he was keeping it for a very long time now, I was kinda scared that time I don't know what's gotten into him and don't know what he is going to say I thought he was saying goodbye or something,... to my surprise he uttered HE LOVED ME! he said when he first saw me he had a crush on me but thinking I was so young he didn't do anything just admired me and he thinks I was a snob not giving her any attention at all even before, their basketball team asked me to be their muse if I only know before it is his team i would have said yes :) He asked me what I also feel for him? (I thought to myself let him wait and suffer a little I didn't know that every time he is coming over he was already courting me and all I thought was just friendship :P) wait I felt i was cornered my sister Ronalyn was there at the time listening he heard Richie ask me what I feel being a little kid she shouted "di ba ate date mo pa sya gusto lagi mo pa nga sya sinusulat sa Dairy mo!" (translate.....isn't it big sis that you love him even before you always write him in your dairy everyday!") I was so shocked, embarrassed I froze! he was tipsy making him a bit impatient this time with a tone like a famous actor in the Philippines Robin Padilla he said "kapag sinagot mo ako ngayon nang oo tayo na, pag hindi naman hindi mo na ako makikita kailanman!"(translation........."he said if I will not answer him that instant I will no longer see him forever") (What? forever! but I loved him even before what will I do I thought) a little bit hesitant worrying I might never see him without completely thinking I just relied on what I feel, destiny and faith I told him the truth shyly and with a soft voice I said I do love him. he was so happy if you can just capture his look that night his face lightens and his tipsiness disappeared in an instant and without knowing he steal a kiss from me ...... on the cheeks! (:P) it was my first kiss. He said it's official then we are a couple! (and I couldn't agree more) my sister even ran inside to check the time and date to seal this memorable event in our lives. The start of something sweet.............

April 17, 1998..............

A New story unfolds